Confessions
by Someone the World Forgot
Summary: There are some things they never told, some things they buried deep inside of them, some things they tried so hard to erase. They succeeded. But, they will reap what they had sowed. It's time to hear their side of the story. Do we really know them as well as we thought we did? Here, in this story, they confess it all. ALL RIGHTS TO VERONICA ROTH :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys!**

**I really don't know when I will update Part Two of this. School is really killing me, and I am focussing on another story from the Selection Series. But I have severe writer's block for that, but I will killing forcing myself to write a little bit every day. So, yes, unfortunately, this story will have irregular updates :( **

**In case you are confused, this is a two-shot. Part One will be what led up to Peter drinking the serum and stuff like that). Part Two will be a surprise ;)**

**Happy reading!**

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><p>Part I<p>

-Peter-

A tremendous jolt over a pothole or a gravelly road brings me out of my thoughts. The truck is filled with a heavy silence. Contrary to the train ride the Dauntless-borns and the Transfers took to play paintball during our initiation. Gosh, that seems so long ago. Years, it feel like. Maybe it is. I don't know. There's a lot that I don't know. All I know is that we're riding off back to our faction-controlled Chicago after living inside the Bureau outside the fence. And that we all have a chance of getting slayed. Murdered. Get our ass kicked. Killed. Whatever word you prefer, that's what every single one of us is facing.

It's inevitable. One of us is going to die. Or maybe more. But there's no way in hell that we will all make it out of there alive. Not when Erudite is bent on hunting us down and having us breathe our last breaths soon, or when the factionless and intent on taking over. No, when two crazy parties—led by even crazier psychopathic leaders—working against each other and each determined to bring down the other, there's no other way to say it. We're screwed.

I look over at my allies. It's still strange to think of them as people I'm working with. Christina, Four—_Tobias_—it's weird, calling him that, Amar … previously, they were all my enemies. Even _Four_, of all people. My instructor. But that doesn't mean I have to ally with him, right? No, it doesn't. Him being my instructor—former instructor, no less, does not signify anything.

Our future lays ahead of us. An uncertain future.

But if there's one thing I'm certain about our future, is that I won't try to make it out of here alive.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not becoming soft, nice, or even remotely less-Dauntless-like. Too many bad decisions, wrong turns, stupid actions caused me to find myself in this place. In this predicament. I groan inwardly. I sound like such a poet, such a … what was that term that Dauntless-born—Uriah, was it?—used? Pansycake? Something like that. _Good going, Peter._

But really, it all began with one word:

Tris. Her blonde hair. Her stormy grey eyes. Her air of determination. Everything.

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><p><strong>Well, that's it, folks! Sorry it's so short. :(<strong>

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Kiren**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, people!**

**Here is Part II! **

**Happy reading!**

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><p>Part II<p>

-Peter-

I have always felt that I didn't belong in Candor. Telling the truth never came easily to me. Being brave, ruthless, and reckless sounded very appealing to me. So naturally, I chose Dauntless. I didn't care what my family said. They had no power over me. They could not control my thoughts, decisions, or beliefs.\

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><p>On the train was the first time I laid eyes on the Stiff. All clothed in grey. As stiff as, well, a <em>Stiff<em>, and sitting with the annoying girl from my faction, Christina.

When the Stiff landed on the roof and scraped her knee, I couldn't help but yell out, "Ooh, the Stiff's flashing some skin!" Those annoying people, Drew and Molly, laughed at my "joke". Honestly, I really never liked them. But being their leader, them being my followers, them being under my power—that felt good. Satisfying. So I tolerated them and let them become my shadow.

I was surprised when the skinny shrimp decided to jump first. Either she was really brave and not-at-all Stiff, or she was stupid. I hoped she was the latter. One less initiate to deal with, although I didn't think she'd ever have a chance of making it into Dauntless. Her, a _Stiff?_ Dauntless? Impossible.

But I had to admit it. She had guts, whether or not she was being stupid or really Dauntless.

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><p>The next day, I noticed that Al seemed to have a tiny crush on the Stiff. He would always look at her and a tint of redness would creep onto his cheeks. <em>Perfect<em>, I thought to myself. I could use him somehow. Again, the longing for power aggravated me to do that. I blackmailed him into joining us—told him I'd tell Eric or Four that he was giving Dauntless second thoughts and wanted to move back to Candor. Being the coward he was, he agreed and joined us.

During our knife-throwing session, the Stiff—Tris—didn't throw her knives. "Hey, Stiff," I taunted, "remember what a _knife_ is?" But as soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to reel it back in. But I couldn't. What?! Me, regretting what I said?!

When Al's knives kept bouncing off his targets, I knew that he was a hopeless case. He won't be joining Dauntless. So when I heard Eric tell us initiates to clear out and watch Al, I wasn't surprised. But when the Stiff said, "Stop!" I was. She took his place, and that was the first time I felt something other than hatred for her. Admiration? Something like that.

After he got dismissed, Tris' face kept dominating my mind. I tried to push it away, but it was fruitless. Her stormy blue-grey eyes struck me the most. It was striking. After this, I couldn't deny it anymore.

I liked the _Stiff_. The Abnegation girl, of all people. Only she wasn't Abnegation anymore.

I tried to flush away the feelings, I really did. I was meaner to her, hoping they would cancel out the feelings.

I ripped away her towel after her shower just to scar her and break her down. I harassed her. That just made her beat Molly into a pulp during fighting later that day. She had guts, that's for sure.

I got Drew and Al to help me capture her and dangle her over the Chasm. While they were holding the blindfolded and tied-up Stiff over the edge of death, I touched her. Ran my hands over her chest, everything. She kept screaming, even though the cloth was tied over her mouth. That just made me thirstier for her. But I couldn't rape her. No, even Peter Hayes wouldn't go that far.

Or would he?

I don't even remember the Candor me anymore.

Every time I mocked her, taunted her, tried to scar her, I kept regretting it. I promised myself I would stop, but I couldn't. I was on a roll. I was flung out of control.

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><p>Then there came the fear landscapes.<p>

I began to suspect Tris was Divergent, when she came out of the Simulation Room in three minutes. Eric told me to observe my fellow initiates and tell him who I thought was Divergent.

But I couldn't turn her in. She was no longer a Stiff. I couldn't call her that. She no longer fit that category. So I didn't tell Eric. But I knew that he would find out sooner or later. But at least she'd probably have a few more weeks to live.

Four knew I liked Tris. I knew he liked her, too. But we both ignored the fact that the other did.

I had twenty fears. Tris had six. I came behind her in second place when my time was eight whole minutes. I couldn't believe it. But I fell for her even more. She was brave, strong, and pretty much fearless. Compared to her, I looked like a fool. But I couldn't let a _girl_ beat me. So the mocking increased.

She endured all my torture.

She was Dauntless through and through.

Gosh, I sure sound like a poet.

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><p>When I joined Erudite—<p>

I am shaken out of my thoughts when Four tells me, "Peter, we're here."

I walk out of the truck and stand by Christina. We split apart and I go with Four. "Four," I start."

"Yeah?" He asks, scanning the area for danger. I should be doing that too.

"Do you think I can have the Memory Serum?" I have made up my mind. I have done so many things, detestable things, I don't know how to carry on anymore. I have done so much wrong to Tris and everyone else—even those back at Candor, when I would lie and get them in trouble. I am remorseful of everything I've done. And that I did all that without feeling guilt.

Four looks surprised. "Are you sure?"

I nod.

"When you lose your memory, is there anything you want me to tell you? Your name, your birthday, history, parent's name, anything?"

I shake my head. "Just my name and birthday will be fine. I want my complete past to be erased. You know, a new me?"

Four sighs. "Okay, if you're sure." I nod vigorously. "You will still know the basics: how to walk, talk, brush your teeth, and all that. It is the implicit memory part the Serum erases." Suddenly his eyes widen. "So that's why you only pretended to inoculate yourself," he says in realization. "You planned this for a long time."

"Yes," I reply. "Now should we go to Evelyn's house?"

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><p>After seeing that we have no need for giving Evelyn the Serum, Four hands it to me. I take it without hesitation.<p>

I close my eyes and swallow the clear Serum. I try to keep Tris' image in my mind for as long as possible. Slowly, her features start to fade, her chin, then her hair, then her nose, and finally, her eyes. Her beautiful eyes. I try to hold it there as long as I can remember. The names of my parents, what faction I was born in, who were my friends … all that starts to fade. "Forgive me, Tris?" I think with my mind.

Then her eyes start to fade as well, and soon, I am grasping at nothing.

Then I open my eyes.

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><p><strong>Well, it's a wrap! <strong>

**Cali-is-my-home: Thank you for your review! Yea, school totally hates meh. :( Thanks!**

**Random Question of the Day (RQOTD): Other than Tris (duh :P ), who would you want to resurrect?**

**Don't forget to review, favourite, and follow this story!**

**Until next time,**

**-Kiren**

**P.S. For those of you who are following my other story about the Selection Trilogy, I really don't know when I will upload that. My writer's block has escalated and it sucks :(**


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